Be Careful What You Say, Or She'll Kill You
by Roxius
Summary: Suzaku learns that if there's one thing you should never talk about in front of Kallen, it was about how you made sexual advances towards Euphemia without knowing she was said redhead's girlfriend. Please R & R!


Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

A/N: An alternate version of that 'Kallen beats the shit out of Suzaku and everyone laughs' scene...I mean the one where she punches him alot, not those other five scenes.

I don't even know how the scene really even goes before Kallen actually starts beating up Suzaku, so please forgive all mistakes!!! And Suzaku is way OOC here, and in a bad way, at least until he gets pwned...

I used some lines from the fansub of this scene on Youtube.

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Kallen Stadtfeld cursed loudly under her breath; she couldn't believe she had actually been so foolish as to let herself be captured by Suzaku Kururugi, a definitive traitor to his own Japanese people in every sense of the word! If she hadn't been wearing this stupid ugly dress, Kallen figured she would have probably gotten away. The only reason she even wore it in the first place was because her girlfriend Euphemia Li Britannia practically begged her to put it on, despite many protests from the redhead herself. Now, sitting her in this small glass box, with that bastard Suzaku sneering down at her, she was beginning to whether having Euphemia as a lover was even worth it.

'No, don't think that! Of course it's worth it! Every little bit of pain I suffer proves that it's worth it! I do it all for her!!!' Kallen quickly told herself before the feelings of doubt grew in her heart. Suzaku reached out, and cupped Kallen's chin in his hand. He snickered to himself, and cocked his head slightly to the side. It was quite obvious that he was attempting to portray a kind of 'bad boy' persona for some reason at this point.

"You know...looking closely at you now...you're quite beautiful..." Suzaku remarked.

Kallen snarled, and spat in his face. "You're a disgusting pig...take your hands off me, bastard..." she hissed through clenched teeth, her words seeping with venom.

Suzaku removed his hand very slowly, and wiped away the spit on his cheek with his sleeve. "Hmph...wretched bitch...you cannot be compared to someone like my darling Euphie at all...she is beautiful and kind, a true angel having descended to Earth to save us all...while you...while you're nothing but a nasty and hideous pig demon from the depths of hades...that means I take back my earlier remark that I said about you being beautiful, just so you know..."

Upon hearing Euphemia's name, Kallen squinted her eyes suspiciously. "...YOUR darling Euphie?" Something inside of her was beginning to stir.

Suzaku nodded, with a smug grin on his putrid face, and he calmly replied, "But of course...she and I are destined to be together, I just know it! I mean, sure, she tried to neglect my numerous advances upon her, but still, I-"

That had done it. Getting to her feet, Kallen raised her fists and screamed, "YOU GODDAMN SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Suzaku's cocky disposition vanished in an instant; shrinking back towards the chamber door, he stammered, "F-FORGIVE ME!!!" He really was just a pussy-ass bastard, after all, it seemed.

"LIKE HELL I WILL!!!" Kallen roared, and she slammed her right fist deep into Suzaku's stomach, causing the brown-haired young man to let out a grunt of pain. Kallen wasn't done yet, though.

"THERE ARE THINGS YOU SHOULD," Kallen swung her left fist upward, hitting Suzaku square in the chin, "...AND SHOULDN'T DO!!!" With Suzaku not even making an attempt to fight back, Kallen punched him once in the head, and then slapped him hard across the face. It was amazing the poor guy was even still standing. His head was aching painfully and he could feel the bile rising in his throat.

"I'm...I'm so sorry..." he whimpered, trying to hold back his oncoming tears.

"NOW YOU TRY TO ACT LIKE A GENTLEMAN AND PRETEND NOTHING HAPPENED?!!" Kallen screeched in her overwhelming fury, performing the time-old maneuver of punch-punch-uppercut once more. Blood rolling down his chin, Suzaku was unable to take any more. As he reeled backwards towards the ground, Kallen decided to bring this pitiful excuse for a fight to an explosive end.

"SO, MR. KURURUGI, WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY IS...DON'T FUCK AROUND WITH MY GIRLFRIEND, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!" With that proclamation cried at the top of her lungs, Kallen smashed her foot as hard as she could into Suzaku's crotch. A loud pop was heard.

'G...G...Girlfriend?!! Does that mean that Euphie...Euphie is...OH MY GOD!!!!' Suzaku gasped in realization just in time as his consciousness finally left him. He crashed to the floor, now nothing more than a broken man with only one testicle.

Kallen crossed her arms and let out an annoyed huff. "...Asshole..." she muttered under her breath.


End file.
